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Sample Chapter from Losertown the Novel

This was one of the later chapters I wrote, which turned out to be pure filler material. All my chapters ended up being obscenely short. I don't know how to flesh out a scene. It's pretty bad.

I'm crazy for you / even though you're a Jew

No, that's not right. Dan scribbled it out on his pad. He was sitting on his bed trying to come up with a killer phrase that would make Nina's heart melt. Dan was still flying high over the success of giving her that antique bracelet to celebrate their one year anniversary of when they first met. He wanted to do something more, though--something that came from his heart.

Lying beside him on the bed was a guitar that he hadn't touched in over ten years. It was stored in his closet after an abortive attempt to learn how to play those many years ago. Now he was making a second effort to learn all those complicated fingerings that he couldn't learn before.

He looked back on his empty pad again, not including all those scratched out lines. Maybe he should focus around her name. What rhymes with Nina?

Nina, oh Nina--

He was stuck. Nothing rhymed with Nina except for another name like Tina or Gina. He wished he had a rhyming dictionary. He started going down the alphabet, replacing "N" with each letter starting with "A".

Aina, bina, cina, dina, eina, fina...This was going nowhere. He gave up on the idea of using her name. Why couldn't her name be Melissa? Then he could have used something like:

Melissa, oh Melissa, I really want to kiss ya

Nina was coming over for dinner tonight, and he really wanted to have something for her. He had all week to do this but couldn't come up with anything. Maybe if he had a beer it would loosen him up. He got up and grabbed a bottle out of the refrigerator. He read the label hoping for some kind of inspiration.

He sat back down on the bed and picked up his pad again. Maybe he should start by listing all the things he loved about Nina, and using that as a starting point he could develop something around that. She's smart. She has a good sense of humor. She's pretty. She has a great body. She's great in bed. Her hair smells nice. Sometimes she can get a little too silly though. And she really doesn't know how to apply makeup that great. Wait a minute--these are supposed to be good things.

Dan got up and turned on his stereo. If he happens to plagiarize a little bit, so what? As he was listening to the songs, he realized that so many of them have really stupid lyrics. He listened to the stereo for about half an hour, finishing his beer and starting another one. He grabbed his pad and pen and made yet another attempt.

You don't have to be near / I can still feel you there
I remember what you wear / I can still smell your hair

Dan took an alcohol-influenced look at what he just wrote. Why, this wasn't bad at all. He was on a roll now.

You'll never be far away / you can go or you can stay
you're always with me just the same / I just need to hear your name

He noticed that his syllables weren't consistent, but he shrugged his shoulders and told himself he'd fix it later. Now he needed a chorus. He thought about using Nina's name again. Maybe it didn't have to rhyme? Who's to say everything had to rhyme. Besides, he mentioned in the last line that he needed to hear her name, so it made sense to use it.

Nina, oh Nina, you're everything to me / Nina, oh Nina, you mean so much to me
our love will last forever / you know we'll always be together

Dan was pleased with himself. That's all he needed. He could just repeat the beginning verses to round out the song. Now came the tricky part--coming up with a melody. For this he needed another beer.

He picked up the guitar and started strumming the G chord. Then he realized he didn't know what other chords to use.

"Crap," he muttered. He went digging in his closet. He used to have this old book called How to Play Folk Guitar that gave the chords in the different keys. He pulled out a box of books full of mostly textbooks from his college days. When he was nearly at the bottom, he hit pay dirt. The book was well worn--not from use, but from being knocked around in boxes--and the pages were all yellow.

He flipped to the back of the book where it showed all the chords. Jeez, these look complicated. After reading up a bit, he decided to use the chords G, C, D and E minor, which belong in the key of G. Those chords looked the easiest to play.

Dan grabbed the guitar and practiced his fingerings. He was having a lot of trouble going from one chord to the next. Maybe he was still too tense. He grabbed another beer. The phone rang.

"Hey, it's me," said Nina.

"Hi," said Dan.

"Listen, I may be a little late tonight. I'm still at my sister's." Nina was helping her sister move into her new apartment today.

"That's okay."

"I'll probably be over around seven. Are you making anything special tonight?" she said.

"Yeah, you could say that!"

"Can you give me a hint? Poultry? Beef? Fish?" asked Nina.

"You'll see when you come over," said Dan.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight," said Nina.

This presented another problem--Dan hadn't started cooking anything yet. But what was more important? Eating, or creating a beautiful love song? He picked up his guitar again. As he was going through the chords, he started singing the lyrics he wrote, trying to find a melody. After two hours, he had the melody down and was able to run through the chord changes without stumbling too much. He was also thoroughly drunk.

There was a knock on his door. It was Nina.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," said Nina, kissing him. "Have you been drinking?"

"A little," said Dan.

Nina looked at the cold kitchen stove. She didn't smell anything cooking. Nothing was on the burners. The table wasn't set.

"Dan," she said, rubbing his chest," I thought you were going to make me dinner."

"I know, I'm sorry--I got caught up in something," he said, guiding her to the sofa. "Have a seat, Nina."

Dan took her hand and got down on one knee.

"Nina," said Dan.

"Yes?" she said, leaning forward. She was holding onto his hands tightly.

"Nina, last week made me realize just how much you mean to me. This past year has been absolutely one hundred percent the best year of my life ever, and I just want to--"

"Yes?" said Nina, inching ever closer.

"--I just want to show you how much you mean to me--from here," said Dan, thumping his chest, "so I wrote you a song."

"You--wrote me a song?" said Nina, sitting back.

"Yeah!" said Dan, getting up and grabbing his guitar from his bedroom. He sat down next to Nina on the sofa and began playing. He just kept on strumming the opening chords for a while because he forgot his lyrics. When they popped back in his memory, he started singing. Nina was looking at him intently while suppressing a smile.

Dan poured all his emotions into singing his song for her. And when he hit the chorus, he kicked up the volume level a notch. When he finished and the sound of the last chords faded away, he looked at Nina with eager anticipation.

"Dan, that was so sweet of you," said Nina. Her voice was trembling--but not from emotion.

"You want to laugh, don't you?" said Dan.

"Would you mind?" she said, breaking up into howls. Dan turned around and put his guitar away.

"Oh, no, sweetie, don't--I loved it, really!" she said, consoling him. "Play it for me again."

"Okay, now you're just making fun of me," said Dan.

"No, really--I want to hear it again," she said, pulling his head to her bosom.

"I will never touched the guitar again," he said.

Nina kissed him on his forehead. "I still love you," she said.

"That's comforting to know," he said.

"Dan?" said Nina.

"Yes?"

"Can we get something to eat?"